Sorry for not writing much here during last year but I'm really into writing in Russian in my other blog.
To try to improve the situation a bit I can say that during past few month I've been so completely happy like I haven't been for about 20 years. The dark menacing cloud is gone. Twenty years ago I've been given some poison and told it will make me better. I was free before, but after I felt like a fish caught in the net, lifted off my natural environment, helpless and suffocating. Now I'm free again, full of love and creativity. I am clean of this horrible addiction. I mean religion. It is such a relieve to understand that it all was just a big lie, a glitch of a conscious (but week, I admit) mind, deceit and self-deceit.
I can still appreciate religions esthetical side: music, temples, rituals, general feeling of something greater that you. It may even make somebody happier. Then maybe if people, straight from the beginning of history, could build beautiful libraries, train stations and univercities there would be no need for majestic (and very pricy) temples?
The danger of the religion is that your "invisible friend" will get stroppier and stroppier, wanting more love than your real friends and family. It will make you call others heretics and infidels. It will be threatening you and blackmailing you with the fear of Hell. It will tell you that people are sinners and deserve Hell while the truth is we all get pleasure from good relationship with fellow humans - just like animals living in groups. We like being nice to each other. We notice nastiness more because it is more rare. People love each other naturally, without need for a supreme being, fear of punishement or dream of a reward. Religions and kindness are not related.
I am so glad there is neither "invisible friend" nor a strange cruel outdated book between me and my conscience!
There was perhaps need for a religion when first humans got conscience but didn't quite knew what to do with it. When they couldn't invent themselves neither purpose in life nor the ways to behave (after behaviour according to instincts became optional). Now most people can find purpose in life, be kind and happy by themselves.
I actually never met anyone who became kinder under the influence of a religion. My experience is that kind and clever believers have a very hard time squizing their kindness and reason into the dark prison of religious thought.
When I read history of Orthodox Christianity I find suppression of free thought, angry disagreements, wishes for opponents to go to hell, growing political ambitions, hatred, cruelty, attempts of rewriting of history, etc straight from the beginning. There is not such things as "christian values": when slavery, torture and cruel punishments were common they were OK with the Church too. The modern history of Russia teaches me that as soon as religion gets a firm grip on the society, its "nasty" fundamentalist face appears. Even in 90s I've been told the orthodoxy coupled with nationalism and xenophobia (o, mother!) I've been told silly medieval things like to eat seafood during the lent because in the old days people thought its plant food not animal...
Why should anyone believe to the infamous organizations like the christian Churches or other religious orders? They are built lie on lie, they teach intolerance (every religion is a blashemy for another one), they take away the most precious possession any person has: his freedom of thought.
Anyway, it is really difficult to describe the level of happiness the realisation of all this brought upon me.